Taunting me with dust particles of memories
They come fleetingly to me and then leave;
rewired, nerve nuclear-lined highways,
all in the same surreptitious instance
This putrid deep pit, where my stomach once lived;
muffles my pain, dulled by it's heavy set void of emptiness
My echoed mute screams, erodes all my dreams
Vibrations... all I’ve left to feel, in this someone called ”Me”
who I hear whisper... dissociatively
Nausea chokes in my throat like an acrid, vile smoke
My taste, paralysed with the sting of delusion I once willfully ingested
My eternal thirst grows from my quicksand life’s hole
Each grain from the hourglass chimes...
reminds me of my precious time, squandered futilely
Oh how do I find, my way out of this labyrinth of lull
This grotesque colourless light, which strips my eyes
of all the layers and layers of years’ sights;
of things I can’t quite catch or recount to mention
To evade, perhaps, was my plight... but to forget was never my intention
How then, can I not drown in this tear-drenched sound
Abandoned to a destiny, shackled in dense air’s suspension
Does anyone remember me back then...
as all I can recall is a sepia faint soul
A painful burnt parchment, I was supposed to hold onto and cherish
Dreams turned torture long ago... I was left to float
Yet anchored by hope, to a lie in subterfuge sold;
that I’ve clung to for many a yesteryear, desperately
Death would be a relief but numbness is a thief
and refuses me the strength of will now to enter
I can’t find my way back, through this matrix of clues
Past all the fake facades, swathed in self-hatred
I’m now trapped and embalmed, begging for time to recant
Motionless laid... within the fast lane
Deafened, by my own tachycardic heart’s pointless beating
So if you can remember me and I shared with you, dreams
Please, come walk me though my mind’s wilting vestiges.
© Debbie Razey 2020 - Violet Moon Poetry.
Poem and art
