© Debbie Razey 2022 - Violet Moon Poetry
Distilling to an essence…
the hurt that tortures me
Abandonment put succinctly
choked on Hail Marys… vacuous screams
Primordial deity grooming,
ravenous... precision’s glee
Feeds on fear of rejection,
makes my minuscule world…
much smaller, than should be!
S… t… r... e… t… c… h… e… d,
opaque, bereft…
drought’s watering hole of death!
I tightrope bloodshot caverns,
in sleepless, wraith-like dreams
I'm bridled, whipped and shackled…
makes marionette of me
Hangman’s narcissistic magnetism
I’m their bloody… prodigy!
Litanies of suppression
made me… sacrificial dream
R
e
c
g o
n i
i I
past the ether…
of darkling’s shadowed fiends
Who I somewhere, somehow, must have…
once misread as friends
Glinting in the moonlight...
they retrace my railroad scars
Ribbons of silvered destiny
now etched upon my pores
Frayed rivers shimmer, seeping...
way beyond reprieve
Charred, buried, brittle skeletons...
cobwebbed calamity
Blindly, try to begin over...
but there’s no clemency
The path is set in neurons paved…
dawn’s starting gun, it gleams
Beneath the all too familiar…
gunmetal’s oppressive gaze
I’m preyed upon,
whether they will or won’t…
this time leave me for dead
Please make it stop... I beg of you!
Please!!! Just let me be!
Is there no peace to find… anywhere?
No security... out of reach?
No safety... without a catch?
Somewhere, don’t have to bleed…
into oblivion’s vast nothingness
Somewhere, memories’ bones...
aren't stacked in grief
Somewhere, I haven’t been before...
so can’t recall the way
Where all, don’t have an exit plan…
I’ll no longer feel ashamed
Somewhere behind a door called ‘Home’…
where I will not fear the latch
Perhaps my lot’s just foot-printed voids…
the size of elephants
Where soulless ghosts of
t
s u
d m
e b
e l
w e
still haunt my harrowed heart
My graveyard mind, trauma’s resting place,
scribed, indelible... tomb-headed shards
As despite blood pacts, gestures grandiose,
all who swore they loved me... left!
Setting my life’s fawning precedent,
as branded ‘expendable’… is hard to forget!
© Debbie Razey 2023 - Violet Moon Poetry
