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Thursday, 17 April 2014


I really am a shy old gal
Forever meek and mild
I've never put a foot wrong
Since I was a naive child
Routinely, I'm in bed by eight
I always eat my greens
I never say expletives 
I was no rebellious teen
I never smoke a cigarette
Or drink a glass of wine
I never talk to strangers 
Or lie and say "I'm fine"
I have never kissed a boy
And know not the birds and bees
My home is always spotless 
I  never incur late fees
I'm virtually a domestic goddess
I'm always  organised
I never stay out all night
My temper's never compromised
I never tell a single lie
I don't indulge in chocolate 
I always return phone calls
I don't get drunk and vomit
I'm practically perfect in every way
My past is so squeaky clean 
A hippie at heart, I am not
My car; I always buff and sheen
Well I could go on forever...but
there's no truth in the above whatsoever!

Debbie Razey 2014