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Sunday, 17 May 2015

The Blighted Hero

I care way too darn much... I care way too darn deep
Reality hurts so I drink to stay asleep
I'm haunted by many reoccurring nightmares
of memories that I just can no longer bear
Copious tears I have drunk from the vinyard's vine,
that hasten my darkling and spiraling decline
into depression's lonely lurid abyss;
where I flirt tragically with death's karma kiss

Please, now believe me... I was not always this way 
The rules, I once submissively did obey
I have fought, bled and grafted for my bless'ed homeland
My "welcome home" heralded by a grateful band
As together for our fallen brothers we mourned;
a medal of valour upon me they adorned 
A country, once so proud of their galant hero; 
but now... they no longer wish, of me, to know

I've become a stain on their pristine, perfect sheet,
a part of history they now wish to delete
As the war, I fought, is now under scrutiny; 
now a deviant... through fulfilling my duty 
No rehabilitation...  I struggle to cope  
To protect my kin... I thought it best I elope
All alone on Civvy Street... I do not belong   
...drunkenly singing, proud, my old regiment's song 

So please do not judge me on what you now, in me, see
I'm a casualty of war... reduced to debris 
Some fear; even pity me and some think me insane 
Truth is... I've invisible wounds that torment my brain
For the deaths of my comrades and enemies, I've wept
No longer a robot programmed to fight and protect
Oh when will the world's greed, fear and hatred decrease? 
I yearn for the day, the world and I... are free to find peace 

© Debbie Razey 2015