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Wednesday, 27 July 2016

A Day In The Life Of M.E.

Wrapped in a heated blanket
Stuck on is the tens machine
Rocking a hot patch and eau du Tiger Balm
Fetching supports on both wrists and knees

My eyes sore... swollen, bloodshot and red 
Perfectly matching my burning flushed cheeks 
Industrial headphones and sunglasses on
Trying but failing miserably to follow the TV

Head splitting under an ice-pack
My face firmly planted in front of the fan 
It's whirling echoes my relentless reeling mind
Of the thousands of jobs... still to be done

My body's skin tinged an attractive bruised-blue 
Barely opaque... dry and maddeningly itchy   
I can't remember when I last felt the breeze or the warmth of the sun 
Or looked human... without the "zombie-stare" and my hair all greasy    

My dreams taunt me with a life and friends I once had
I'm now more active in my sleep, than I'm in my, actual, reality 
I've become a prisoner within my own dysfunctional body
I just want to unzip myself... step out and be free!!!

No one seems to understands what M.E. does to your soul
Even loved ones surmise you're "depressed or lazy"
Daily fighting to take back... even a little control 
Thoughts of futility and guilt... literally sending me crazy 

I've hardly any independence or social life left
As isolation and endless acute pain... have taken their toll 
My young life's hours, days and years tick by wasted and empty 
Left today bed-bound with sheer exhaustion, as again I've hit M.E.'s unyielding... brick wall!!!

© Debbie Razey 2016 both poem and image