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Wednesday, 27 July 2016

A Day In The Life Of M.E.

I'm Wrapped in a heated blanket
Stuck on is the tens machine
Rocking a hot patch and eau du Tiger Balm
Fetching supports on both wrists and knees

My eyes sore... swollen and bloodshot 
Perfectly matching my burning flushed cheeks 
Industrial headphones and sunglasses on
Trying but failing miserably to follow the TV

Head splitting under an ice-pack
My face firmly planted in front of the fan 
It's whirling echoes my relentless reeling mind
Of the thousands of jobs... still to be done

My body's skin tinged an attractive bruised-blue 
Barely opaque... dry and insanly itchy   
I can't remember when I last felt the breeze or the warmth of the sun 
Or looked human... without the zombie-stare and hair all greasy    

My dreams taunt me with a life and friends I once had
I'm now more active in my sleep than in reality 
I've become a prisoner within my own dysfunctional body
I just want to unzip myself... step out and be free!!!

It's hard to describe what M.E. does to your soul
Even loved ones surmise you're "depressed or lazy"
Daily fighting to take back... even a little control 
Thoughts of futility and guilt... slowly sending me crazy 

I've hardly a social life worth mentioning 
As endless acute pain... has taken its toll 
My hours, days and years tick by wasted and empty 
Left today bed-bound... as again I've hit M.E.'s unyielding... brick wall!!!

© Debbie Razey 2016  


Tuesday, 26 July 2016

Breathe...

Go gently on yourself, take time to breathe...
Take stock of where you stand in space and time
Inhale nature's sweet serene, breath of breeze
Relinquish... under the past draw a line 
Unique moments; cherish their gifts sublime
Ne'er to be repeated, not blessed to all
So exhale, scream, shout, cry; now purged... stand tall 

In stillness let yourself, just truly be 
Allow void, where pain dwelled, to fill with light 
Linger there in divine love... learn to see 
Let your dreams and hopes manifest; take flight
Through imagination set your soul free
Your life's next chapter is not set in stone
To be fulfilled, it's down to you... alone

© Debbie Razey 2016








Wednesday, 20 July 2016

Tightrope

I'm on
life's treacherous  
tightrope, ground beneath; I 
can't see, I've been stranded on love's 
trepid 
trapeze 
...uncertainty 

My eggshell-sanity; 
dubious perspective is flawed
I no
longer 
know or have faith
in my abilities;
as gone is my once... safety net

I fear
what fate,  
for me, now holds
in stark hindsight... will I
plummet forever the abyss,
depths of
regret
or will I hold 
on, suspended somewhere 
between hope and imminent death? 

I guess
It's the
steps I take now
with caution; I'll proceed 
as Karma looks on... calculates 
my whole
sum of 
past, present deeds

Enlightened... I'll begin  
heeding lessons from history 
as now
I'm strong,
in knowledge gained,
conscious of in-betweens 
In renewed clarity... I will
walk on

© Debbie Razey 2016

Wednesday, 13 July 2016

Quantum Entangled Hearts

Star crossed lovers
Quantum entangled hearts
Not together...
But neither are we apart
Our supernova shines 
A spectacular tragedy 
of unrequited love 
Its brilliance illumines our galaxy 
I study the milky-way
Could it be a path that will lead me to you?
I wish continually upon shooting stars
But there just seems too few
My heart's becoming a blackhole
In the absence of you
Subliminally, in the speed of light 
I glimpsed our love... gone too soon
Or was its timing actually too late 
Beneath our recoiling majestic moon
Is time-travel, then, the only real way  
That together, physically, we could now be? 
My heart relentlessly searches for you  
As lucid dreams of us... they will not set me free

© Debbie Razey 2016



Tuesday, 12 July 2016

Serve Thee

In the wilderness, I find myself
Wild as the wind and free
Tenacious as the tide before me
Meek as the moon meandering
Coy as the clouds philandering  
Somnolent as the sunset o'er trees
Nightly I pray upon knee
All to be true and serve thee 

© Debbie Razey 2016