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Thursday, 26 March 2015

Stifled

I feel like the air is too thin to breathe;
that if I were to inhale it too deeply, 
the sky would shatter into smithereens 
I feel like the lead-lined clouds bear down on me,
forcing my head to swallow my sawdust eyes,
as I plead silently... wishing for it all to cease

My mouth has a thirst for life, I fear, never to be quenched
My feet, inactive, are aching from wanting to run from myself
Each hair follicle is a tiny drill, burrowing into my brain
My heart grows weary and my mind, it forever spins;
replaying on a loop the cherry-tinted yesterdays
as I taste, unwillingly, the tomorrows laced with fear 

A heavy-set oaken door is barred on my dreams
The key, an enigma, a puzzle I have yet to fathom 
Perhaps I just need some time away, a break, a holiday 
The trouble is, I think I may need some distance from me
I yearn to step, healthy, out of this alien putrid skin
to be the person I really am, who's not stifled... weak

Enough! I just need sleep... quiet... peace...
To swim under the stars and cleanse my soul
To walk naked in the company of my own thoughts
To watch the leaping flames lift the fog, so I can see
To feel the wind blow fiercely, the dust that is me;
sandblasting my face as the waves chisel back my form

I need to drink in deeply, the warming sunset's elixir
and replace the stolen stars which once shone in my eyes 
I need to settle peacefully before the dawn sings;
once again feel the dew beneath my bare, tired feet 
I just want to replenish... restore... retreat... 
To seek serene silvered silence so I can once again be me;
wild, naive, hopeful... unencumbered... pain free! 

© Debbie Razey 2015